“I am in the middle of my beautiful life.” I tell myself this on occasion, and it always moves me into gratitude and also opens me up to feeling. It is a way of honoring my life, with all of its complexities, flaws, joys, heartaches etc. Even the parts of me that hurt or are small or broken are part of the beauty of my life. It moves me out of a perfectionistic attitude and into an owning of what it is to be human: beautiful and amazing, yet imperfect and wounded. It allows me to see my life stretched out from infancy to a future I have not yet created. I honor this life, this moment, this journey that I am on. This moment is part of a bigger picture, a bigger pattern, a bigger life than I may realize. I open up space for myself. I create grace.
We are all imperfect, but we have choice. We can choose what we tell ourselves. We may not be able to alter the past, change patterns immediately, or remove limitations currently affecting us, but we do have choice in how we speak to ourselves, and in the attitudes that we hold. We can tell ourselves that there is something that is wrong with us and make ourselves bad for it, or we can chose to honor ourselves despite the pain our imperfections require us to bear.
“I am in the middle of my beautiful life.” Say it to yourself right now and notice what comes up. A feeling? A thought? Maybe we are rejecting this idea, maybe embracing it. Don’t make yourself wrong or right, just notice. This is how we get to know ourselves, how we find out who we are. It is only when we know ourselves that we have the power to enact change.
Oh My Goodness, this was so beautiful!!! And I can identify with the statement of being in the middle of my beautiful life. Personally I have hit a cross roads, this amazing place where I am transending from a place of being satisfied with mediocrity, to a place where I have determined that who I have allowed myself to be until this date is just not enough. I now realize that I have always had everything necessary to absolutely live the life I have always wanted to live. Not a perfect life that doesn’t require tears and occassional heartache, or an unyielding control over things I cannot change, but a life that says, no matter come what may, I give my best in the moment and I am happy with me. Even if no one else ever is, I can lay my head down at night and be proud of me. I found your blog because it is my goal to become an MFT, and I was curious if I could find anything written by someone in the profession, to give a glimpse into how their life is under the surface, and this was perfect. You are a blessing, and am determined to live life outloud and give my permission to both fail and win, but more than anything I will feel free to be me, because I am in the middle of my beautiful life.