butterfly

The Pain of an Opening Heart

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It hurts for our hearts to open. Like when the blood has been cut off from a limb and begins to flow back in, it pricks and tingles, the intensity worsening as the oxygen-rich blood rushes in to feed the cells and nerves. The cells and nerves…
My Blessings for the New Year

My Sense of Home

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My much-loved husband nearly died three weeks ago. When I imagine my life without him, I realize that there is no place to go, nothing to do that could feel okay. I feel homeless, lost and adrift. What is home, but a tender heart we connect…
My mother's passing

My Mother’s Passing

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My mother died July 22nd after a yearlong battle fighting a rare and deadly cancer, mucosal melanoma. It was the day before my birthday and I wasn’t there. Perhaps she picked that day to spare me her death occurring on my birthday. We had…
finding balance in life and growth

The Balance of Peace and Growth

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Although much of my life revolves around a daily routine of work, like all of us, I find myself bombarded with sensations and images, thoughts and feelings – and often caught between delight and distress. One moment I find myself in a clear…
Sunset depicting overwhelm

Overwhelm

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Maybe you could call it a creative block, but what it really feels like is that I'm caught between these different and enormous landscapes, like being in the middle of moving worlds and everything is changing and I don't know yet where I am…
soul

What I wish for Jyoti Singh Pandey

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Yesterday I first learned her name and saw her picture.  She was smiling with warm brown eyes and long dark hair.  She looked petite, young and sweet.  I was glad to learn her name. I was glad to see her picture.  I was glad to get to know…
Perspective needed for emotional detoxification

Emotional Detoxification

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I read the an article about health recently and was struck by this paragraph: We are in a constant exchange with our environment, which is governed by the laws of osmosis. If mercury is in the fish we eat, over time we have mercury in our…
You are Enough

Enough

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I was outside. It was night. Someone was behind me: his hands on the small of my back propelling me dangerously forward with enormous force. I was scared. I tried to decompress the uncomfortable arch in my back but the force was too great. I…
Letting go

Letting Go

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The other night I was in pieces.  Waves of intense grief and emotional pain were coursing through me. For the past week or so, my 14-year-old cat Hank has not been feeling well, and not eating much.  Hank is a small grey tabby that I got from…