Jennifer Lehr, MFT - Blog

The Three Interdependent Dimensions of Our Relationships

Posted on Sunday, October 17th, 2010 at 6:40 pm.

(The material in this article comes from understanding gained by training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples) Working with couples effectively means you understand the three dimensions of our relationships: Attachment, emotions and cycles.  Learn about what needs to be focused on to do effective couples work, or to work on your own relationship. 1)  …   Read more »

How to talk about what we can’t talk about, but need to talk about

Posted on Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 at 2:59 am.

Sometimes our wounds collide in such a way that we hit a roadblock.  One of us has an intense need to talk about something.The other can’t bear hearing about it.  For example:  Jane was worried about how her partner took care of everyone in the world except himself, including his health.  He seemed weak to…   Read more »

Looking Inward – Making Sense of Ourselves

Posted on Sunday, March 7th, 2010 at 4:42 pm.

I witness a lot of pain in my work. People don’t come to see me because everything in their lives is working. They come to see me because something isn’t working, because they are in pain. When I first sit down with someone, I’m looking for the pain. What is happening that is so difficult?…   Read more »

Innovations in Couples Therapy

Posted on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 7:30 pm.

A while back I spent a week at a training workshop for therapists on Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. While I have been working with couples for years, there is always more to learn; I believe that this is the best couples methodology available today. Currently there are new frontiers opening in brain research, child…   Read more »

Bringing in the New

Posted on Monday, January 4th, 2010 at 8:19 am.

It is a new year. Many of us have been reflecting upon the past year, and looking forward to a different time. For many, the past year has felt frustrating, frenetic and filled with limitations. Perhaps we will find more awareness, possibility, and peace in 2010. The Sanskrit word yoga has many meanings and is…   Read more »

Intimacy (Into-Me-See): Invite Your Partner For A Visit Into Your World

Posted on Saturday, April 18th, 2009 at 7:48 pm.

Most of us want to feel connected, loved and safe in a relationship, but building a relationship that works requires a number of abilities. Building a relationship requires building trust. It requires an attitude of kindness and curiosity towards our partner. It requires looking at our relationship as an adventure, rather than a problem or…   Read more »

Becoming Psychologically Healthy

Posted on Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pm.

We sometimes believe that if we are “good” people, good things will happen to us. This is not entirely true. While some people are intrinsically better at certain skills such as making money, having relationships that work, or making art than others, it has nothing to do with their inherent worth. Instead, it has to…   Read more »

Emotional Courage

Posted on Thursday, December 18th, 2008 at 7:55 pm.

How do we change the direction of our lives? Despite our histories, why do some people create fulfilling lives for themselves while others do not? As a therapist, and as a person who has made her life about self-transformation and then later, the transformation of others, this is easy to see. But for many people,…   Read more »

Getting Unstuck

Posted on Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 at 7:58 pm.

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a painful or unsatisfying situation: it could be a relationship, a job, a pattern of behavior, or something else. Maybe I am in love with somebody who is not available, or abusive, but I feel that I need them and I cannot leave. Maybe I am stuck in a…   Read more »

I Am In The Middle Of My Beautiful Life

Posted on Friday, July 18th, 2008 at 8:04 pm.

“I am in the middle of my beautiful life.” I tell myself this on occasion, and it always moves me into gratitude and also opens me up to feeling. It is a way of honoring my life, with all of its complexities, flaws, joys, heartaches etc. Even the parts of me that hurt or are…   Read more »

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