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Overwhelm
Posted on Monday, April 1st, 2013 at 2:54 pm .Maybe you could call it a creative block, but what it really feels like is that I’m caught between these different and enormous landscapes, like being in the middle of moving worlds and everything is changing and I don’t know yet where I am standing. On the mundane level, I can tell you exactly what Read more...
What I wish for Jyoti Singh Pandey
Posted on Sunday, February 3rd, 2013 at 2:02 pm .Yesterday I first learned her name and saw her picture. She was smiling with warm brown eyes and long dark hair. She looked petite, young and sweet. I was glad to learn her name. I was glad to see her picture. I was glad to get to know her a tiny bit in this way. Read more...
Emotional Detoxification
Posted on Saturday, January 12th, 2013 at 1:58 pm .I read the an article about health recently and was struck by this paragraph: We are in a constant exchange with our environment, which is governed by the laws of osmosis. If mercury is in the fish we eat, over time we have mercury in our system. We cannot keep our system pristine and clean, Read more...
Enough
Posted on Sunday, September 30th, 2012 at 7:32 pm .I was outside. It was night. Someone was behind me: his hands on the small of my back propelling me dangerously forward with enormous force. I was scared. I tried to decompress the uncomfortable arch in my back but the force was too great. I tried to steer myself towards a large overweigh man, Read more...
You Are Only As Sick As Your Secrets
Posted on Wednesday, March 28th, 2012 at 12:48 pm .I tend to reveal a lot about myself in my writing. Even though as a therapist, showing oneself is tricky, I made a conscious choice to do this because I knew that is how we remove stigma and heal shame. If I reveal an experience that someone else identifies with and has shame around, they Read more...
Accountability and Character
Posted on Wednesday, November 30th, 2011 at 6:49 pm .I remember years ago how my father and the four of us children would go walking up the hill into the woods to look for a Christmas tree. It was a somewhat magical time – one of those special times when we had fun with our father. The trees would be beautiful, brown branches, dark Read more...
Letting Go
Posted on Saturday, July 2nd, 2011 at 1:17 pm .The other night I was in pieces. Waves of intense grief and emotional pain were coursing through me. For the past week or so, my 14-year-old cat Hank has not been feeling well, and not eating much. Hank is a small grey tabby that I got from the pound when he was 6 weeks old. Read more...
Announcing WeConcile™
Posted on Sunday, March 20th, 2011 at 12:10 pm .Architecting Your Own Intimacy – Repairing, Rebuilding & Creating Love I have been deep in writing a new web-based and interactive program to help couples (or any two people) connect more fully and resolve conflicts, bringing harmony and peace to their relationship. This is something that I have been working on for nearly two years Read more...
Default Places
Posted on Sunday, December 5th, 2010 at 4:22 pm .I had a hard few days, which in this case for me means that I was in workaholic mode, feeling frustrated and somewhat overwhelmed and being unrealistic about what I could and could not get done. I was pushing myself around ‘doing’ and not accepting the ‘being’ aspect of life. Luckily, a friend stopped over Read more...
Emotional Release Guided Meditation
Posted on Tuesday, November 9th, 2010 at 3:15 pm .Guided Meditation (Audio) to accompany “Emotions and Emotional Release“. Subscribe to the Healing Tips Podcast with iTunes The podcast for this blog posting is on the bottom of the previous blog post Emotions and Emotional Release.
Emotions and Emotional Release
Posted on Friday, November 5th, 2010 at 7:18 pm .Emotions are intense. They rock us. We have to deal with them. Someone says something the wrong way, or we are in a difficult situation and all of a sudden we might find ourselves in a fury, or in deep grief, or perhaps an awful sense of embarrassment and shame as if we are ‘bad’. Read more...
Respond-Ability
Posted on Monday, August 16th, 2010 at 11:07 am .This past week, some very specific events brought up a lot of pain and grief for me. The first event was when I read an article about a 17month old boy who was beaten to death. The perpetrator stated “I didn’t hit him that hard.” Later in the week, I saw the Time magazine cover Read more...
A Radical Change In Perspective
Posted on Monday, July 5th, 2010 at 11:58 am .The other day, I heard enlightenment defined as a radical change in perspective. What is enlightenment? Why would we want it? Is it not to gain deep revelation or insight into the meaning and purpose of things, to be removed from our everyday perspectives that cause us so much angst and pain? I not only Read more...
Sometimes Our Potential Lies in Our Wounds.
Posted on Sunday, June 20th, 2010 at 7:22 pm .This week I was reading some old writing I had done and ran across a piece I had written 14 years ago in 1996. This was shortly before I went back to school to become a therapist and it made me aware of the evolution of my thinking and growth as a human being. “I Read more...
When Wounds Collide
Posted on Tuesday, April 6th, 2010 at 2:55 am .When wounds collide, we suffer and we don’t feel safe. Our partner becomes somebody we no longer trust. It is one of the most painful aspects of a relationship. When we are scared, we act in ways that do not help our relationships. When we feel safe, our relationships can blossom. Do you remember O’Henry’s Read more...
Looking Inward – Making Sense of Ourselves
Posted on Sunday, March 7th, 2010 at 7:42 pm .I witness a lot of pain in my work. People don’t come to see me because everything in their lives is working. They come to see me because something isn’t working, because they are in pain. When I first sit down with someone, I’m looking for the pain. What is happening that is so difficult? Read more...
Bringing in the New
Posted on Monday, January 4th, 2010 at 2:19 pm .It is a new year. Many of us have been reflecting upon the past year, and looking forward to a different time. For many, the past year has felt frustrating, frenetic and filled with limitations. Perhaps we will find more awareness, possibility, and peace in 2010. The Sanskrit word yoga has many meanings and is Read more...
How Past Trauma Impacts Current Relationships
Posted on Sunday, October 18th, 2009 at 7:36 pm .“The more quickly either person goes from disappointment or hurt to anger, defensiveness, or emotional withdrawal and remains stuck there, the less that person is capable of having a relationship and the more the other person will have to walk on eggshells”. Mark Goulston Why do some people have relationships that work and other’s don’t? Read more...
Becoming a Playful Spirit
Posted on Thursday, June 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm .Have you ever watched a child play? They have fun and explore within the context of what they know. Before they can walk, they play sitting. With each developmental step, the range of their play increases. As adults, we have the ability to play in bigger and bigger ways. But sometimes we don’t. Instead, sometimes Read more...
Anatomy of an Emotional Victim: Changing Victim Consciousness to Self-Empowerment
Posted on Wednesday, March 18th, 2009 at 7:50 pm .Sue and her husband Dave were talking in the morning before leaving for work. Dave mentioned that he had made dinner plans with a friend later that week. Sue immediately bristled. “You never make plans with me, everyone else is always first”, she hissed. Dave sighed. “Here we go again,” he thought to himself. He Read more...
Emotional Courage
Posted on Thursday, December 18th, 2008 at 7:55 pm .How do we change the direction of our lives? Despite our histories, why do some people create fulfilling lives for themselves while others do not? As a therapist, and as a person who has made her life about self-transformation and then later, the transformation of others, this is easy to see. But for many people, Read more...
Safety & Reactivity in Relationships
Posted on Thursday, September 18th, 2008 at 8:00 pm .How many times have we begun a relationship, full of hope, only to have it crash and burn, or one party flee? Many of us have relational injuries from the past. This often manifests as a “fear of intimacy.” Beneath this phrase, lurks not feeling safe in relationships. Our fathers may have had tempers, or Read more...
Changing Your Inner Dialogue
Posted on Sunday, May 18th, 2008 at 8:05 pm .In order to heal depression and anxiety, it is important to look at your inner dialogue. How are you talking to yourself; what messages are you giving yourself? Do you tell yourself that you cannot disappoint others? That you have to be perfect so nobody else gets upset? Do you tell yourself that you are Read more...
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